I Pick My Nose

I've just had the urge recently to write down statements about myself, as and when I think of them. These are the results... Um... Enjoy

• I pick my nose.
• I'm obsessive.
• I can be more than a bit lazy.
• I'm uncomfortable around people I don't know.
• I get angry at the most stupid things.
• I fail to understand why people can't just be polite to each other.
• I'm polite, almost to a fault.
• I apologise even when it's unnecessary and sometimes when I don't know what I've done.
• I'm considerate of other people, often to my own inconvenience.
• I'm scared of success.
• I'm terrified of failure.
• The thought of letting someone down is crippling to me.
• I hate my reflection.
• I can make you smile when you're sad or upset.
• I'm loyal to those I care about.
• I don't like littering although I once got fined for it.
• I have done too many things I'm not proud of.
• I like to drink, I'm comfortable with a pint in my hand.
• I'm impulsive.
• I am a man that likes to be in love.
• My morals can be questionable depending upon alcohol levels.
• I don't fear being dead, but fear what it would do to my loved ones.
• I don't know how to truly open up to someone.
• I have too many insecurities.
• I hate being alone, but I'm lonely.
• Sometime I feel like nobody knows me.
• I get addicted to work because it gives me something to do.
• I'm scared that I'm going to die alone.
• I have no idea how to approach women and I can barely talk to the ones I know.
• I like cheesy pop music.
• I have an addictive personality.
• Having read on bipolar disorder, I'm 90% confident I fit the bill.
• I hate that I'm the always the one to speak their mind, it makes me be more negative than I'd like to be.
• People often think I'm gay.
• I am too emotional.
• I cry at films.
• Food shopping makes me sad because I don't like cooking for myself.
• I like science and physics fascinates me.
• I don't like people who are just plain stupid.
• I can be too clever for my own good.
• I see too much when people are talking to me, sometimes is really isn't what you say, but how you say it.
• I'm an old fashioned romantic.
• I like to sing, but I hate karaoke.
• I'm hardworking.
• I'm friendly and affable.
• I know how to bring people out of their shells.
• I'm often the butt of jokes, but people are always laughing when I'm around.

Voodoo Child

Lynx,

Here is a link to the song by Jimi Hendrix;

Although this is the 'subject' of this email, it is not in fact the subject of this email. I just thought you might like to listen to some greatness as you read.

I'm 27 (28, July 28th, pop it in your calendar) and I've been fearful of sweaty body odour since my mid teens. And whether you are remotely impressed by this or not, I have almost always used Lynx. I say almost because sometimes when I'm a bit poor, I have to buy something a bit cheaper - and let's be honest Lynx, you could sell your products at lower price really. But, I'm nothing if not loyal. I always come back. Always. I've been a customer of yours for approximately 15 years. I've put a lot of money your way.

And so, to business. Voodoo. Whatever happened to Voodoo? That is the question. As I started writing this,  I decided I'd do a little research (I've been burned before) using the good old Wikipedia.org and accordingly, Lynx Voodoo was a limited edition created for the UK for some sort of Moon event. Curiously, Wikipedia also states that Voodoo has not ceased production. Now I found this a bit odd considering you can't actually buy Lynx Voodoo in the United Kingdom.

I have also discovered, mark you, that Voodoo - the best ever of your range in my opinion - is still on sale Down Under. Just... What? Why Australia of all places? I mean, granted theirs is a much warmer clime than ours, they obviously have more cause to dispel the afore mentioned body odour. Let me remind you, it was made for this patch of land, not some upside-down-mostly-desert-and-'outback' country! And yes as I can almost hear you sarcastically thinking, there are several suppliers online, eBay and Amazon both have sellers of the original and this is all well and good, but it's not good enough.

I can sort of accept a limited edition. Sort of. What I am now struggling with is a limited edition still being made, but not sold where it was originally marketed. That hurts Lynx. That hurts.

My request to you is sincere and wholesome. Bring Voodoo back. I am sure there others like me. Others who remember that smell, but somehow can't explain what it smells like in even the slightest way. Moreover, if we're talking brass tax, you're going to make a lot of money anyway. Like, a lot. You guys must be rolling in it already and as the saying goes, you've got to spend a little to make a little (or in your case, loads).

Loyally,

J. D. Bennett