Ever heard the saying "Say what you see"? Of course you have. The tremendous Roy Walker and his amazingly horrific suits are no doubt jumping in front of your minds eye right now. As that is the only place I know that saying from it was the only example I could use but the wonderment of Catchphrase is not the subject of this post.
I use this posts as a kind of ironic diary. Something I can share that I can look back on and hopefully smile to myself at the odd context that I see the world and how it directly or indirectly affect my life. So, obviously there is an element of everything I do in these posts but I try to keep the details to a minimum because this is my blog and although the people I kind of mention read it, I don't think they want to be named etc. Or maybe it's just because I'm a little bit selfish and I don't want you to come away from reading this thinking "I wonder who Blah Blah is?".
And that ladles and gentlespoons is precisely the point of this newest of posts. To say exactly what you think. I am a little bit selfish, I'm probably a good 30-40% selfish (I think it fluctuates), it may even be more than that. And I'll tell you why I'm selfish. Because I like to tell the truth. That may well be the most obvious thing you've read or heard but I put to you how often you tell white lies without even thinking about it? I'm not saying I don't but I hate to, if someone is expecting me to like something and I don't I prefer not to say anything than lie. I won't get excited about something I have no interest in and I won't pander to other peoples attempts at trying to seek attention. I'd honestly rather say nothing.
Sometimes though to make a point, it is necessary to be that little bit evil and be straight talking. I am straight talking most of the time, I say what I think and I tend to have an answer for everything but I know it can be a bit harsh. I was having a conversation with my friend the other night, we were just talking about our lives and crap and I said (fairly bluntly) that if we had a kind of relationship where we had little in common and we argued a lot then we wouldn't be friends. To me that's simple. Why would you put yourself through the constant duress of disagreements and conflicts when you have the option to not. So for being blunt and a tad harsh if you read this, it is a public apology.
I seem to be contradicting myself a little because I am trying to endorse being straight talking and not lying but then I'm apologising for doing it. I must stress that I believe there are levels to which you can be like this and sometimes without trying you can go too far, especially with someone you care about. It is however with a certain sense of irony that I write this because when it comes to it, a lot of the time I can't be straight taking. That's another story though.
No my point is more around the people who do say what they think. When you can just pull no punches and tell it like it is. Most people call that being mouthy or gobby and lots of other different things, but you know what, I respect it. Usually those kinds of people have a habit of jumping to conclusions and can be wrong but still, whether they ever think about it or not it takes guts to be like that.
Obviously there is a time and a place, facebook is a prime example - nobody cares about reading whether he/she is the scum of the earth and you wish that they would just die. Get a grip. Being straight talking in malice is a little bit sad and childish. So I wouldn't say I condone that, but still if you are just saying what you think, I've gotta say well done. Obviously you could do it in a more productive manner though. First of all try saying these things to the person you are actually annoyed and then secondly, try being constructive. Honestly it helps.
I think that we suppress our opinions to the point of not having one sometimes because on the off chance it might actually offend somebody else. I say, if you do it in the right way and just say "Look, you idea isn't great, can you do something a little different?" why should they get offended? It's like when you have a meeting and there's always that one person who doesn’t let you get a word in edgeways, why do those people get annoyed about being interrupted if you're polite about it? It's all about making a point but without being nasty or horrible about it as you do. We all understand that everyone has an opinion so why are we so apprehensive about sharing them?
I have different levels of straight talking-ness, I'm probably at my finest when I'm at work which is weird because a lot of people are the opposite. I just think that if this is my job and I have to do it, then you should know what I think about it, good or bad. I obviously try to replicate this into my personal life also but depending up on the company I am with this may change. It seems to lessen outside of work though, probably because I have less to disagree with and that’s never a bad thing. That though, is because the people who I do spend my time with (and maybe its because we're all so close) but we do just say what we see.
So is it a good thing? I think it is. I think that being comfortable enough to express your opinion openly - not just to the odd one or two people later on when it turns into gossip - is brilliant. I consciously try to say what I want to because as I mentioned earlier, I don't like to lie. I just think why bother? There will always come a point when you regret not saying something be it professional or personal. Of course there is the alternative when you regret what you say but at least you can apologise for it, you'll never be able to go back in time.
It's kind of an odd thing to have to do but realistically, you have to first of all know what you want to say, then weigh up whether it might offend someone and consider if you care or not and then actually say it if you choose to. And as stupid as that is, that is the culture that we live in. We are becoming increasingly silenced, whatever happened to freedom of speech? I am in the constant belief that being a nice guy does indeed lead you to last place, so stand up make your point and let people know what you think whether they like it or not. A friend of mine said recently, you have as much right to laugh as they have to cry.
I say the same thing about you though. Yes you. If someone doesn't agree with you or they interrupt you because you have been rambling on for half an hour and are talking utter tripe, if they have a point, let them make it. And if you don't agree with it, don't get all annoyed and petty, come up with something better. That way you can diplomatically rub it in their face when you make their opinion look like something you wished you hadn't stepped in. So I encourage you all to speak up, but do it the right way.
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