Your Fault.

Unwarranted blame. Pointing the finger and all that other business. Don't you just hate it? Unfortunately I am usually one of those people with a finger in the face being blamed for whatever the problem seems to be. Not really in my personal life, but in work I am definitely the fall guy. It's not just me really; the whole team I work with, we all have a target on our backs so big a blind man could hit it.

So when something goes 'wrong' I then spend all my time proving that actually, no it's not wrong... This is why that's happened. One of the things I do not do, it say it was someone else's fault unless I know - for a fact - that it was. Innocent until proven guilty anyone? No? I'll just have to prove you wrong again then... And that's what I do. I find the root cause of the problem/issue/dilemma/calamity depending on whom it is you're talking to, and then I can tell who has directly or indirectly caused it.

Is that the same for anyone else? I will sometimes have a really quiet week, where I don't really do a lot. Then, out of nowhere I am on the back foot in the corner with punches coming from every angle. And where I work, its rare people actually come and ask you to have a look into something, it just gets blamed and we take it from there.

It's not really difficult; I know my job inside out and back to front. There are also two of the most intelligent guys I have ever known on my team who can have facts and figures on a spreadsheet and in graph form before you can say "Can you prove it?". Our defence is pretty well rehearsed by now...

Still, even though we can always (and I mean every time) say that this is the reason, not what you initially thought. It still comes back to us when there's a new "challenge"... You would think people would learn. Believe me, they don't. It's always an attack, always trying to blame something that they do not understand. Where is the sense in that? Surely you would want to make sure you had the fullest knowledge of something you have constant interaction with.

Is it unreasonable to want to talk about what the problem is without having to compile evidence that it is in fact, not your fault in the first place? Do you think that people try and blame someone else when they know it's something that they may have done or caused?

I'd like to know if I do that, blame someone when I know it is or might be something I've done. I'm trying to think of an instance but I can't bring one to mind straight away. It's potentially a natural reaction to point the finger in somebody else's direction. Like I said I can't really recall if I do it but usually if I can see it's something I have done I'll just say "Yeah, it was me. Leave it with me and I'll sort it out." I don't shirk something if I know I needs to be done.

That's just it with the whole blame game type thing, everybody is so up tight about making a mistake that they try and hide it. Grow up, you're not a child, everybody gets it wrong now and then. If it's something that you could get into trouble for in any which kind of trouble you can think of, you will come out all the better for admitting it before you get found out. If it is something that could possibly cause problems for anyone else you work with, surely you should have the decency to show some respect and own up. Because lets be honest, instead of moaning at you after its all come out, people will be more willing to help if they know about it before hand.

How about if you do know who has caused the problem? Is it ok to say that you know it was them and should you say that they need to sort it out? I think it is. I mean as I've said, don't say it nastily or even in those words but why should you unnecessarily sweep up the mess, people never learn that way. As long as it's constructive and a lesson can be learned I think it is entirely acceptable to stand up and tell it like it is, so to speak.

I can appreciate that sometimes it's also difficult to do that though, especially if you know that the other person knows it was them and they are scared about getting in trouble. If you have more than just an acquaintanceship with that person it can come across that you are 'dobbing them in'. You could try approaching them and saying something like that if they don't say it you will, which I know sounds petty, but… You can mature it up by saying that it's not fair that you are allowing the rest of us to look bad by not admitting to this. You know what I mean?

It can be hard to not blame people sometimes though, even if it's just a joke, every one has someone they say that too don't they. Like if a bus is late and you're with your friend, you might say (comically) "This is all your fault." I love that kind of banter, it's funny and it can help to keep from being bored and stuff. Or if someone has made a complete and utter fool of themselves when they were drunk or something you can say "It's your own fault, I told you to slow down!" I love that.

It's completely different when you are rubbing it someone's face because it's funny, as long as it is funny to them too. That's allowed. I think in those instances it's a must, because lets be honest, you know they would do it to you. If it's a bit of give and take and it's all in jest then its something to laugh about but, when it comes down to it and things tend to be of a little more serious in nature, then it's time to be serious about it.